You know you're obsessed with NCIS when...

You Know you are seriously addicted to NCIS when:
Your computer malfunctions and you're looking around for McGee to fix it.
The television network shows a promo for a re-screen and you can name episode title AND number.
You wander the convenience stores hoping to find Caff-Pow.
You have an overwhelming desire to head slap anyone who ticks you off
You find yourself scanning bookstore shelves for a copy of "Deep Six"
You find yourself calling the office junior 'Probie'
You see everywhere someone who reminds you of an NCIS character, you could swear they were their double, when they're probably nothing like them!
You actually consider a spider web tattoo on your neck
You begin building a boat in your basement just like the one Gibbs has
You super-glued your co-worker's fingers to his keyboard and then left the room
You look on the Internet for a Mighty Mouse stapler
You postpone needed surgery because you might still be under when the show comes on
You ask a bunch of nuns if you can bowl with them
You take to drinking strong black sugarless pop by the gallon
You teeter on impossible stilettos
You confuse English expressions
You start talking to any dead creature
You talk to your PC, CD player, TV and all other forms of technology in your life
You hold conferences with your neighbours in the lift in your block of flats
You drive at breakneck speed ignoring traffic and traffic signs
You take to wearing a dog collar with studs or spikes instead of pearl necklaces
You dye your hair red
You're convinced your life will be complete if only you can obtain a farting hippo stuffed toy that you can name Bart
You dye your hair black and wear it in pigtails
You become a Goth
You start wearing black lipstick
You have a penchant for long winded stories
Your catchphrase becomes "D'ya think?" or "On it boss!"
You write novels using your workmates as your source of inspiration
You get into forensic science
Your favourite hat is a bright orange beanie
You only notice young men who wear Italian designer label suits/footwear or silver-haired blue-eyed men who buy their clothes from Sears
You start referring to water cooler gossip as 'scuttlebutt'
You refer to the loo/restroom as the 'head' -- and you were never in the Navy
You talk about 'zulu time'
You 'profile' any potential friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/customer/neighbour
You insist that the second B in your name stands for 'B******' - even if your name doesn't have a B in it!
You can eat cold pizza without your stomach churning
You can go on a frat holiday to Panama Beach
You have frat brothers even if you haven't the foggiest what that is
You start threatening people that bug you that you'll kill them 18 different ways with a paper clip, if they don't shut up.
Take to calling men 'skirt chasers'
Seriously look into getting color-contacts and try to copy the exact tint of Gibbs' eyes. [or which ever character floats your boat.]
You give up sunbathing to get that alabaster coloured skin
You sleep with a gun under your pillow
You give your lover honey dust
You take a liking to the smell of sawdust
You have problems using chopsticks when eating Chinese take-away
The idea of building a boat in your basement, even though you will have no way to get it out of the basement when completed without demolishing several walls, seems like a sane, rational, intelligent thing to do.
Drinking bourbon neat becomes your favourite tipple
You give up watching the 6 Nations Cup (rugby) to watch baseball
Get your partner to wear comfortable loafers instead of Doc Martens
You start addressing people, particularly men, by their surname, dropping the 'mister' entirely.
You connect with kids when before you'd have run a mile
You become versed in ballistics
You become fascinated by military acronyms
You begin calling your boss "Director"
You call wild drivers "Zivas"
You discover you can instill fear in people simply by glaring at them
When a friend asks for support you say 'on your six'
You think the FBI is inefficient
You consider you and your lover having a quickie at the local morgue
You begin to wonder what sex in an armoured personnel carrier would be like.
You suddenly like men dressed in Gunnery Sergeant uniforms with or without the cover (cap/hat)
You want your kids/lover/partner to carry a GPS chip about their person so they can be located at any time
You become a bomb disposal expert
You consider renaming your children/grandchildren Jethro and Abby
You spend most of your time reading/writing NCIS Fiction on Fan Fiction.Net.
You buy DVD copies of movies that have NCIS cast members in, even though they are movies you wouldn't normally watch.
You spend another large amount of your time reading NCIS Fiction on Fan Fiction.Net and NCISArchive.Net
You get DVD copies of shows with NCIS cast members even if you don't like the shows
You rout You Tube for interviews/snippets of said cast
You're favourite car is a sedan
You have several duplicate mobiles/cellphones in case you break one
You have a new respect for the Israeli Army--especially the female members
You call the outsourced staff at your office 'liaison' workers
And if your big boss is female you address her as Madam, Director, or Ma'am
You refer to a stethoscope as a 'Rubber Ducky'
The randy smart-aleck male in your office is nicknamed DiNozzo
You start calling your husband/significant other My little hairy butt.
You ask your husband/significant other to call you Sweetcheeks instead of honey or babe.
You head slap everyone close to you who says/does something annoying.
You start acting out your fav scenes in your fav episodes
You call your friends/family NCIS characters
Any long winded speaker or who frequently goes off at a tangent is affectionately called a Ducky
You begin to use "Elf Lord" as a pet name for your significant other (I don't currently have one, but I can assure you it's my new favorite pet name)
You want to buy an old fashioned typewriter, regardless of whether or not you actually write
You hope to take up knife-throwing in the near future
You look for "Lo Ball" CDs in every electronics section you visit and online stores like Amazon.com (guilty!)
You don't mind starting work at 7 in the morning (I'm usually in the office at 0630... what does that make me?)
Having your weekend date interrupted to do some urgent work
You comment 'nice cover' to an elderly gentleman wearing an NCIS hat. He proceeds to inform you that it is not merely a prop, but one he received from his daughter who is an NCIS agent! You are thoroughly impressed and want to ask if she has another. (Thanks for letting us play in the TV version of your world, NCIS. Stay safe.)
You go to work with a cold and when co-workers suggest that you see a doctor you look for Ducky.
You start looking for DiNozzo, Kate, Gibbs and Col. Mann when you see service members in uniform. (And DiNozzo among the Village People!)
You hit the Internet/library to find out what poison ivy looks like because you don't want to end up like poor McGee. (You also find the proportions for the baking soda/vinegar paste, and/or keep a bottle of calamine lotion with you at all times, just in case.)
Your reason for never getting a cold is because no virus/germ/bug would dare to even get near you - 'cos if Gibbs can get away with it, so can you
You try to imitate Gibbs' glare when people don't do what you want when you want in the way you want.
You get really excited when you find out you grew up in the same town Mark Harmon's father was from!
Every time you see a Dodge Charger, you look inside expecting to see Gibbs, Tony, McGee, and Ziva in the car.
You get a mini and drive Ziva-style (like a maniac)
You hunt perfume counters looking for one that smells like gunpowder or bourbon (even though you know Abby made them... you still hope to get lucky).
You hunt for a cologne that smells like sawdust to give to your man (and you wish Abby was around to create one for you).
You get up before human hours to get a promo DVD and then watch the one episode all day
You watch an old promo video for hours because there is a couple of seconds of NCIS in the 'all the shows' ad promo.
The only prospective boyfriends you're interested in have silver hair and blue eyes who drink coffee like there was no tomorrow.
You realise mustang is not only a kind of horse but also a kind of car (you're doing extremely well when you know it's a Ford)
Your mobile ring tone is the NCIS theme tune
Your PC or cellphone (mobile) wallpaper is one of the cast/whole cast
Your PC screen saver has NCIS scenes
When you say something rocks, you're not exactly talking about music :-))
You realise not all geeks are nerds
You start blabbering on like Abby
You talk geek-speak, not English
Friends/co-workers ask you to translate geek-speak
You are suddenly bad at computers and all technology
You are suddenly good at computers and all technology
You decide to do computer classes to be more like McGee and Abby
You call technology doo-dah's
You find yourself getting angrier more easily
You get shy and stutter more
You want to be able to do everything that the cast can do (never mind the fact that they have stunt doubles!)
You are considering taking art classes so you can sketch Tony {or whichever character} when they come on the screen.
You believe you know everything there is to know about the Navy.
You ramble off a bit of computer terms, having no clue what they mean.
You search high and low for a paint gun so you can shoot your favourite toy in the head.
You watch every movie Tony mentions on the show for 2 reasons, either because you are interested in the movie, or simply because you do everything that Tony says.
You seriously consider getting a coffin to sleep in.
You say your occupation is "making fan art and writing fan fiction"
You take part in all the active threads on the site
You've created about half the active threads on the site
You start listening to Israeli rap.
You make Mii's of all the NCIS Characters on your Wii (Even Lee and Fornell)
You learn how to kill with a paper clip
Your idea of computer maintenance is to continually hit it until it works.
You start calling everyone named Abigail, "Abbs" (I do this with my friend's daughter. --abbysciuto77)
You google images of female Israeli soldiers
You acquire an acute interest in the different post-mortem protocols
You discuss the pros and cons of the Scotland Yard and Virchow post-mortem protocols, likewise any of the others used
You hear something that you swear is a quote from the show and whip out your dvd sets and watch until you find that quote.
You start keeping an extra set of clothes at the office just in case
You call odd things in your life "hinky" (Guilty as charged!)
You call Mark Harmon/Jethro Gibbs or any othersilver haired man in your life your "silver-haired fox"
You discover (or are reminded) that a "Gypsy" is an off the clock cab driver, not someone who tells fortunes and wears hoop earrings.
You get hubby/better half to wear a silver/steel ID bracelet like Gibbs'
You start wearing a silver/steel ID bracelet like Gibbs'
Your whole family can quote NCIS even though they've never seen it.
You know everything there is to know about all the characters - permanent and occasional
When your teacher/boss/parent tells you to do some small job or chore, you say "Ya know, most agencies have people to do these things."
You create a Sims family of the NCIS cast
You think goth fashion is the most chic
You invent a role game of the series
You use this site banner for your own website/letter headings, etc.
You start Googling Ducky's stories to check for accuracy.
You spend a whole week reminding everyone you know exactly how long it is until NCIS is on next.
You think April 8, 2008 should be a holiday. (First new episode after the strike!! Yay!)
When you get smacked on the back of your head, and your first words are "Thank You Boss!"
You have watched the Cast Interrogation videos ten dozen times already since they came out Tuesday 8th
You've learned their answers to those questions off pat
You sign up with all the online NCIS sites
You can't stop posting on the NCIS Wiki.
You dream about NCIS
You wear out your DVD and the discs, from re-running marathons
You read all these statements and answered at least one with "positive".
You've willingly joined NCIS Addicts Anonymous despite knowing there's no way out and the addiction only gets stronger
Your German Shepherd is no longer called Rex but Jethro
And if you have a female German Shepherd you will call her Jenny to keep it all in the family :-)
You start yelling at people who annoy you "Bad McGee!"
You take your phone off the hook/switch your mobile to silent mode when watching an episode
Family and friends know they must not call by phone/in person while you're watching an episode unless it's a question of life and death, and even then ....
You become obsessed with what the scriptwriters have in store for the cast
You draw comics of NCIS.
You write 'I Love NCIS' on any paper surface you can find.
Your friend can't stop talking about their crush and you can't stop talking about NCIS.
You day/night dream NCIS
You can recognise the signature tune on the first bar
Your mobile 'music' has Gibbs' voice, or
Your mobile sms 'music' is Tony saying 'on it boss'
You organize your social life/holidays around the episode programming
NCIS addiction is your religion
When where ever you go you swear you saw one of the team
You're convinced they're one of the family
Any medical problem requires a second opinion from Ducky
If you have a car accident or industrial accident you require Abby to do the loss adjustment/forensics before you're fully satisfied
All your family pets are named after the cast members
You learn the NCIS theme on the piano and/or other instruments and play it all the time
You think your other half looks handsome in a Hawaiian shirt
You think Hawaiian shirts are chic male fashion
You can dance to theme song of NCIS and sit down the second it ends
You always know the exact amount of time until the next episode
You can't sleep thinking about who will die on the season finale
You spend class time/work time/time before you go to sleep/time you take to shampoo your hair dreaming up scenarios for the next episode/your fan fiction. (i know i do)
You join all the internet forums extant on the series
You spend your spare time reviewing/adding/editing the contents on this Wiki
You spend the rest of the time thinking about how to improve this Wiki
When you join the NCIS Wiki
When you sign up on this addiction page - there's no way out
You become a mainline addict when all the walls of your abode are covered floor to ceiling with photos, etc., of NCIS
You drink Starbuck coffee, even if you don't like it (and you drink it black and sugarless)
You think of ways to move this site up in the Wiki ranking
You imitate Gibbs' saying of 'Today -insert name here- with your friends and family when they're taking a long time in doing stuff(me and my dad do it all the time)
You name your computer McGee (i did it xD)
Your NCIS season cd sometimes gets all hinky because you watch the season over and over again (guilty!)
You make a NCIS poster and put it in your bedroom wall or consider looking at stores for a NCIS poster (I currently don't have one... but I will. :D)
You spend hours on the internet just to find a tune with the song Tony sang in the episode 'Driven' (the one that starts with 'in my perspective...' and so on... the part when Tony went undercover near the restaurant that The Frog's people ate)
You drink stuff that makes you hyper (guilty... xD)
You cut your hair so you can look like Abby/any character you like to imitate
Your family sometimes calls you 'Ziva'
You act like your fave character (guilty!)
You ask your classmates/friends/coworkers if they know NCIS
Your computer is loaded with mostly NCIS pics
You use terms from the show (for example, me and my family call a flash drive 'doodahs')
You wish you had the NCIS cap/McGee's typewriter/Abby's farting hippo/Ziva's skills/Gibb's boat/DiNozzo's highly expensive shoes (yeah... sometimes. :D)
You do everything humanly and non-humanly possible to push this Wiki up in the Wiki ratings You trust your gut, even when everything else goes against it.
You trust your gut, more than facts or figures.
You use 'hinky' to describe many things, even when people ask you to repeat what you say cause it sounds like something else.
You cry when you don't hear Mark Harmon say " STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM OUR NEXT EPISODE"

Sad thing is...I plead guilty to a majority of these...