NCIS obsession

Anyone who knows me knows that I am utterly obsessed with NCIS. I especially LOVE McGee and Abby. I have to have something else to obsess over besides the fact that my body hates me and will not allow me to get pregnant! This blog is mostly for my own personal entertainment...I am going to post a LOT of NCIS stuff. Feel free to read and comment if you want. If not I understand, not everyone is NCIS crazed like I am. =:)

The Rules
Gibbs' Rules
From 3.05 - Switch
Ziva: Just to be clear, are there any more of these rules I should be aware of?
Gibbs: About 50 of them.
Ziva: And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could...
Gibbs: NO.
Ziva: Then how am I supposed to...
Gibbs: My job is to teach them to you.

Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together.
Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number one: Never let suspects stay together."
1.01 - Yankee White

Rule #1: Never screw over your partner. This rule supersedes all other rules.
Gibbs: "Number one supersedes all of the others"Jenny: "Never screw your partner?"
Gibbs: "Never screw OVER your partner"
4.14 - Blowback

Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene."
1.01 - Yankee White

Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check.
Gibbs: "Rule number three: Don't believe what you're told, double check."
Kate: "Should I write these rules in my PalmPilot or crochet them on pillows?"
1.01 - Yankee White

Rule #3: Never be unreachable.
Ziva (after trying to reach McGee): "Rule number three..."
Tony: "Never be unreachable."
3.13 - Deception

Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best.
Jenny: "It's your fault you know"
Gibbs: "For what, leaving or coming back?"
Jenny: "For teaching me your rules. Best way to keep a secret, keep it to yourself. Second best, tell one other person... if you must. There is no third best. (walking away) That's rule number four isn't it?"
4.14 - Blowback

Rule #4: Never say you're sorry.
Gibbs (to Kate): "Never say you're sorry. (laughing) You don't have to crochet that one."
NOTE from Time4Me: I've included this as Rule #4 as it's the fourth 'rule' that Gibbs imparts to Kate in "Yankee White".
1.01 - Yankee White

Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.
Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number seven: Always be specific when you lie"
1.23 - Reveille

Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.
Abby (to McGee): "Rule number eight is gonna save you McGee!"
Tony: "Never date a co-worker? "
Ziva (to Tony): "Never go anywhere without your knife. "
Tony (to Ziva): "Thought that was nine."
Gibbs: "Never take anything for granted."
Abby (to Gibbs): "Correct El Jefe. But then again you did make up the rules"
3.10 - Probie____________________

Ziva: "I assume Gibbs would have checked that out last night."
Tony: "Rule number eight: Never assume anything."
Ziva: "To be precise it's, ah, never take anything for granted."
3.17 - Ravenous

Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife.
Gibbs (while handing his knife to Tony): "Rule number nine:"
Gibbs & Kate (in unison): "Never go anywhere without a knife"
1.13 - One Shot, One Kill
____________________
Tony: "Rule nine."
Atlas: "What?"
Tony: "Ya know those rule they teach you guys in the marine corp."
Atlas: "What rules?"
Tony: "Huh, I always suspected the fact that Gibbs was making that stuff up. Well... rule nine is, ah (undoing his belt), never go anywhere (pulling out his knife) without a knife."
1.20 - Missing ____________________

Tony: "I thought Gibbs said nine was 'always carry a knife'."
3.22 - Jeopardy

Rule #11: When the job is done walk away
Gibbs: "Rule number eleven, DiNozzo."
Tony: "I would never date a co-worker boss. Trust me. I mean, why would you even...That's twelve. Eleven...when the job is done you walk away."
6.24- Semper Fidelis

Rule #12: Never date a coworker.
Kate (to Tony): "Not my style, Tony. I would just shoot you."
Gibbs (just walking in): "That would be the reason for Rule number twelve."
Kate: "Rule twelve?"
Gibbs: "Never date a co-worker."
1.15 - Enigma

Rule #13: Never, ever involve a lawyer.
Tony: "Which means you've been here one day and already broken Gibbs' rule number thirteen"
Dwayne: "Rule number thirteen?"
Tony: "Yeah, rule number thirteen: Never, ever involve lawyers. Things are bound to turn nasty."
6.07 - Collateral Damage

Rule #15: Always work as a team.
Jenny: "I heard your agents are pitted against each other. Wasn't that Gibbs' Rule number fifteen? Always work as a team."
Gibbs: "Not on this one."
5.05 - Leap of Faith

Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.
Jenny (to Gibbs): "Number eighteen: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission"
3.04 - Silver War

Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation.
Tony (to Ziva): "Rule number twenty-two: Never, EVER bother Gibbs in interrogation."
4.10 - Smoked

Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee, if you want to live.
Kate (to Tony): "Maybe next time you should remember rule... twenty-three..."
Marine: "Never mess with a marine's coffee, if you want to live."
2.09 - Forced Entry

Rule #38: Your case, your lead:
Gibbs (to Tony): "Your case, your lead. I think it's a rule."
6.16- Bounce


DiNozzo's Rules
From 4.01 - Shalom
Tony: "Let's roll. Hey, no, this is my team now, Gibbs. My rules..."

Rule #1: I don't sit on the sidelines when my people are in trouble
Tony (to Gibbs): "Let's roll. Hey, no, this is my team now, Gibbs. My rules. And DiNozzo's Rule #1 is I don't sit on the sidelines when my people are in trouble. You got a problem with that? Just remember whose got a badge and who is a civilian."
4.01 - Shalom

Rule #3: Never underestimate your opponent
Tony: "He blew up a ship and put Gibbs in a coma. Rule number three: Never underestimate your opponent."
McGee: "No actually, rule number three...."
Tony: "DINOZZO'S rule numero tres, probay"
McGee: "Gotcha!"
3.24 - Hiatus, Part II

Rule #9: Never ask a woman her weight on the first date.
Tony: "You sure about that? I thought nine was 'Never ask a girl her weight on the first date'"
Kate: "Guess that depends entirely on if you want a second one or not Tony'"
1.13 - One Shot, One Kill


Abby's Rules
From 3.22 - Jeopardy
Abby: "Not Gibbs' rules, mine"

Rule #1: Do not lie to Abby
Abby: What is Abby's rule number one? Do not lie to Abby.
6.21 - Toxic

Rule #9: Always keep a spare
Abby: "Bite your tongue! Rule number nine: Always keep a spare."
Tony: "I thought Gibbs said nine was always carry a knife?"
Abby: "Not Gibbs' rules, mine"
Tony: "hmm.."
3.22 - Jeopardy

Shannon's Rules
From 6.04 - Heartland
Young Gibbs: You’ve got a rule for everything?
Shannon: Working on it. Everyone needs a code they can live by.

Rule #1 or #3: Never date a lumberjack.
Shannon (to Gibbs): "Well I have a rule. It’s either rule number one or number three, never date a lumberjack."
6.04 - Heartland

More rules will be added as the new season progresses and more rules are revealed!